So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Barsexuality is the new black.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
