Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
