pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize