Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize