She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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