is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
