"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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