I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
