Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
