I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
