As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
