i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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