Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
