Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
