No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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