I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize