it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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