don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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