we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just want nice things and good sex
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
