when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize