Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
