My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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