the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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