I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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