My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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