so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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