You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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