ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
