Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
