you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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