brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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