We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
