This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
