Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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