Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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