I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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