i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
