Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
two words...techno handjob
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
