There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
