Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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