so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
