capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize