another moral hangover. fuck.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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