I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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