So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
