that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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