Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Your cock deserves a montage
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
