i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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