i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
