I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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