haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
