oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
