you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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