ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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