I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
