Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
