Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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