We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
