I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
3 2 1 whiskey
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
