Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
