One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
