It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize