Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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