your room smells of hookers.
And success
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This baby is an asshole
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
