do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
