I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Im part way to drunk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
