Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize